I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
