Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
