Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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