I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
