I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize