is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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