And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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