it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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