Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
