sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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