let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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