If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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