If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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