butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
