Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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