Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
