You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
