Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
