Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize