whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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