HIV tests are more positive than that guy
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
