Non-Jews are for practice
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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