Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
sarcasm needs its own font
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How does one acquire holy water?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
