He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
