and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
