He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
