Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
