I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
