How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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