hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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