Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
