Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
