walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
