I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
