Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
