after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
