she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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