last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
