just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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