If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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