I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
