Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize