Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
