friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
