I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize