I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
