Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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