I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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