Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
