Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
