I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
