I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
