We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize