Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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