You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
